


Liar

by littledumbme



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anger, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 16:25:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4842353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledumbme/pseuds/littledumbme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted to tour the world with them<br/>He always said "We are one"<br/>He always wanted to tell the fans he loved them, to continue supporting them.</p><p>He was a liar, and it ruined him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Liar

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not in the best mental state right now and writing seems to help me. If you don't like the subject then don't read.

Out of the three that left, Yifan leaving had affected him the most.

Everything went downhill the night after the decision was made. He left the dorm, he left the band, he left his brothers and all the promises they had made together.

Which is why they needed to train harder, prepare more, and stay on top of everything. 

The first time it was mentioned that he was the only Chinese member left in Exo-M, he cried. The marks on his heart were still too raw, they had known for a while that Tao was leaving, it still didn't help the hurt; It just made the wounds Yifan had left sting more than ever.

That was when he made the decision.  
Months of work, long hard hours, and many sleepless nights. 

Yixing's mind was ruining him, he couldn't ever shake the fear that one day this would all be gone. He was nothing without Exo, despite what the fans may think.

It still scared him how fast everything happened. 

With shaking and bruised legs, Yixing gets up from the floor and turns the music back on. With tired eyes, he gets into position and waits. He almost misses his mark, and stumbles. Quickly he regains his composure and practices the routine through again.

~~~~

Jongdae notices a change in Yixing, and it worried him. The once bright changsha boy lost his true smile the moment Kris left for good. As Luhan and Tao made their departure, he only became worse. Living with the same person day in and day out, you begin to notice things that the public eye don't. You notice the difference between a real and fake smile, a real and a fake laugh.

Yixing was faking. Jongdae and Xiumin knew it, but they didn't know what to do, and that scared them.

~~~~

He could hear their laughter, it wasn't hard to mistake within the quietness of the dorm. It didn't use to be that quiet, but as people leave, so does the space which they took up.

He didn't want to move, didn't want to be conscious. His legs ached and his arms itched. 

The cold season has since passed, but Yixing still found himself engulfed in hoodies each and every day. Whenever they promoted, he always managed to find a way to talk the noona in charge of their wardrobe to allow it. The marks of his battle had been healing rather well, until the other night. 

He knew Jongdae and Xiumin were worried, he could feel their stares on his still form as they watched the news. They had tried to bring it up, and that had set him off. Yixing rarely allows his emotions to get out of conrtol around them these days but he couldn't help it. They had mentioned how well they were doing without Exo, how they seemed happy. It hurt him. Of course he understood why they left, and he supported them with all his heart, but that didn't help the pain he woke up with everyday.

With a puff of air leaving his lips, Yixing lifted himself up, and slowly got out of bed. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, and glanced at the scarred skin. He was a mess, but nobody had to know. If he continued to keep his act for the cameras, and his emotions under control, nobody would ever know.

He has to work harder, prepare more, and continue his routine. He knows his plan will work, it has to. He's the last hope for Exo as a true Chinese-Korean band, he'll be alright.

He tried to clear his mind, and find the bandages. He knows he needs to keep himself healthy, for the other members.

Just like it did on May 15th, 2014, everything once again goes to hell as Jongdae enters the room without a warning, and stops cold in his tracks as Yixing begins to wrap his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this is really badly written, i didn't really bother to edit or try seeing as it's like 3am and i feel like shit.


End file.
